Opinions / Relationships

Relationships: Been There Done That


by Doug Bevins

I am not an expert or  a deep philosophical thinker nor do I play one on television. I am simply a guy who has made mistakes in this area and thought I’d attempt to share some of my experiences with the readers in the off chance someone else is facing the same or similar issues.

I’ve dated two people in my life and learned more than I ever thought possible from those two experiences. I will attempt to sum up my learned knowledge here. Women are people too and, despite what guys may think, guys are not meant to be the center of attention. Conversations need to be give and take and if guys take without any give then there will not be any second chances. Women will be polite but they will not converse again until the guy learns to listen twice as much as talk. Another thing I learned is that relationships are built on trust (a fundamental foundation) and if the relationship is built too fast then it will not last (do not tell someone you love them after one date and only knowing that individual for three weeks total). I learned (and am still learning) that the best significant relationships take time (sometimes quite a long time, sometimes quickly –No magic formula). If things are rushed, the relationship is not likely to last and will, though not always, crash and burn in brilliant colors. Take your time, be careful, thoughtful,  respectful  and above all take your time and go slow. Be aware also that you will grow to hate the practice of patience, but it is a key piece of relationship building and without it nothing works. This is a lesson that took me forever and six years to understand that I needed to acknowledge it before I could start building a foundation that will support a significant relationship someday. I am still learning as I go, I am far from perfect but I am real and that is what counts. Hope this is helpful.


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